Love Is Blindness
by karatam
Summary: In which Felix and a half-blind Cosima get high and wait for Sarah to call.


"So why don't you have contacts?" Felix calls out from the kitchen where he's trying to get his fourth-hand coffee machine to turn on.

Cosima turns her head and then frowns at the multi-coloured blur that she thinks is Felix. "Wearing contacts in the lab can be a crapshoot. This one time in my undergrad, I was wearing contacts and I guess my fume hood wasn't working properly and I got a face full of shit. Spent the next hour bent over a sink rinsing my eyes with cold water."

The little red light on the coffee making finally blinks on and Felix is about to do a happy dance when he realizes that Sarah had used up the last of his coffee grounds. Frowning, he wanders back into the main room to see Cosima squinting hard at the card Alison had made Sarah. "Is your heart really set on that coffee? Because if it is, we'll have to make a trip to the nearest Starbucks. I'm all out."

Eyes blinking owlishly at him from across the room, not quite able to focus properly, Cosima just shrugs. "I'd probably break my neck walking down those stairs anyways." Then she produces a blunt out of seemingly nowhere, holding it up and asking, "Got a light?"

Always up for mostly illegal narcotics, Felix walks over and drops down on the couch, the sudden change in weight causing Cosima to bump into his side softly. He pulls out his lucky lighter (birthday gift from Sarah when he turned twelve – he's pretty sure she stole it, but that just makes him even more careful with it) and holds it up as Cosima leans in and lights the end of the blunt.

A long inhale later and the familiar sweet smell of marijuana starts to fill the apartment. Cosima takes another hit before passing it to Felix. She blows out the smoke all at once before asking, "Does Sarah ever get high?"

Felix winces slightly. "Used to all the time. Didn't care what, didn't care who, didn't care where." He remembers watching Sarah spiral and not being able to do a thing about it, other than cover for her with Mrs. S when she'd inevitably stumble home at four in the morning, high as a kite.

"Used to?" Her hand is twirling in the air, not even in time to whatever weird West-Coast music she has playing from her computer.

"She stopped all at once, just before she found out she was pregnant." He leans his head back on the couch and watches the tendrils of smoke curl up toward the ceiling. "It was a fucked up time."

Cosima might have wanted to respond, but instead she suddenly jerks forward, pressing her hand to her mouth. Her body spasms as she coughs, wet and rough, for long seconds. When the itch in her windpipe abates, she checks her hand quickly, wiping away the two traitorous drops of blood on her pant leg. She looks up to see Felix studying her, his pupils already beginning to dilate.

"That doesn't sound good." His voice is flat, devoid of his usual joking inflections.

She wrinkles her nose and says, "It's just allergies." He narrows his eyes skeptically and so she protests, "A doctor has already looked me over, I swear."

The corner of his mouth twitches up at that. "Playing doctor doesn't actually count, you know." It turns into a full blown smirk. "I saw Miss French Hottie buttoning up her shirt when we walked in, and I doubt it was because of spilled orange juice."

A huff of laughter escapes her, even as she lies through her teeth. "She'd been here for two days, she had to change sometime. And she really is a doctor."

"Yeah, a doctor without moral borders."

Cosima suddenly goes stiff and Felix wonders if he went a step too far, but she turns to him with wide eyes and says, "Delphine is going to be at the DYAD event."

Felix's eyebrows come together in confusion. "Yeah, that's how we even know about it."

"But they might meet, and they've never met before. And Sarah's American accent needs some work and obvs her hair isn't actually in dreads and she doesn't actually need glasses and –" She pauses, her head tilting to the side. "Has she ever kissed a girl before?"

The question seems so far out of left field that Felix feels like his head is spinning, but that might just be the weed at this point. "Huh?"

Rolling her eyes, like her point should be completely obvious, Cosima says, "Delphine – who just slept with me, like, five hours ago –" she ignores Felix's snort of laughter, "is about to see Sarah-as-me walk into a party she really wanted me to go to. Delphine is totally going to try to kiss Sarah."

"Won't she be able to tell the difference?"

There's a small wince at that, because they're clones, aren't they? Completely identical in almost every way, especially to people who haven't known them that long. Felix would be able to pick Sarah out of a lineup of clones any day, but Delphine? It makes her stomach drop and her throat itch, like a coughing attack is imminent.

"I don't know. Probably." A pause. "Maybe, eventually."

They both lean back into the couch and pass the blunt back and forth between them in silence. There's nothing for them to but wait, helpless and far away from all the action and danger. And maybe feel guilty that they both feel a little relieved that it's not them storming the DYAD Institute.

As he leans forward to tamp out the blunt in the ashtray on the table, a thought hits him and he can't stop the laughter that bubbles up.

Cosima lolls her head to the side, watching him curiously. "What?"

"Can you imagine Sarah's face if the first thing Delphine does is just lay one on her?" He smiles at her and then suddenly his eyes go wide. The pause goes on long enough that Cosima impatiently waves an ineffective hand through the air. "Oh god, can you imagine how _Alison_ would react if Delphine kissed her?" He nearly tips over sideways, his laughter shaking his shoulders.

Cosima can do nothing but laugh along, pressing her hand to her mouth to stifle it, purposefully ignoring the dark red blood etched into the creases of her palms.


End file.
